Dr.Roger Freeman

Dr. Freeman is the highly respected pastor of First Baptist Church, Clarksville, Tennessee, USA. In addition, he is a family man that places his family as a high priority in his life and ministry. Believing that one can not ask others to do what he is not already doing, he has been putting into practice the things he shares here. In other words, he is sharing out of his own personal experience. If you have questions, you can email him here.

In most cases, Dr. Freeman can be the best resource for you in strengthening your marriage.  However, if your problem is one that relates to military concerns such as deployments, military housing problems or pay that affect your marriage or other things, feel free to EMAIL Chaplain Bill and expect a reply within 24 hours.

1. Christ the Lord of the Home

Marriage is God's will. Jesus said, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder (break up)."

Matthew 19:6 Christian marriage is forever. Christ died for homes. "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved and thy house. " Acts 16:31 it takes effort and prayer to build a Christian home. Beware, for Christian marriage has enemies. Satan would love to destroy the home you are planning to build. Divorce is the opposite of Christian marriage. Divorce means, "to rip apart." If you give 100% effort to your home and allow Jesus to be Lord, divorce will not occur. Today, five of nine marriages end in divorce. Jesus said this is because of "the hardness of men's hearts." Matthew 9:8 After marriage, you become "one-man woman" and" and one woman man." Be heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered." I Peter 3:7

II. Possible Areas of Conflict

I. In-laws - You are not only marrying a mate, you are marrying into a new family. You are to "Leave and cleave. " (Genesis 2:24) "Leave" means, "Do not tell your marriage problems to your parents." "Cleave" means, "Stick like glue to your mate."

2. Money - Do not overspend or use credit unwisely. Budget carefully. "Man's life consists not in the abundance of things he possesses. " Luke 12:15 Tithe your income from the first paycheck. Do not rob from God.

3. Friends - Do not put former friends ahead of your mate. Spend time with your mate. Especially dedicate this first year of your marriage to doing everything together. (See Deuteronomy 24:5)

4. Church - You should both be committed members of the same Church. This will prevent many problems.

Both partners must be saved and should be members of the same Church. "Do not forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some. " Hebrews 10:25

5. Sexual Immorality - God made sex to be enjoyed in marriage. "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled " Hebrews 13:4 Pornography in any form must not be in a Christian's life. Follow the Psalmist's advice, "I will set no R4cked thing before my eyes. " Psalm 10 1: 3 Living together before marriage is sin. You can get to know one another without having sex before marriage. Immorality is a bad foundation for marriage!

6. Alcohol - Alcohol is a home-wrecker. No social drinker can say, "I will never get drunk." Total abstinence for your home is advised. "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging,- and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. " Proverbs 23:20-32 Alcohol is expensive and is an open door for Satan into your home.

7. Occupation - When both partners work outside the home they must be careful to take time for each other. If a spouse travels, he or she should call home every night. A married man should not eat out alone with another woman, even on business.

8. Unfulfilled Personal Expectations - Christian marriage is not a Camelot with no conflict. Christian marriage is two forgiven sinners accepting life as Providence gives it to them and ranking the best of imperfect situations. Bitter words destroy marriage. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue. " Proverbs 18:21 Christian marriage is two people facing life together praying, "Lord, use us to glorify Thee."

THE BIBLE

Feelings come and feelings go,

And feelings are deceiving,

My hope is in the Word of God;

Naught else is worth believing.

I'll trust in God's unchanging Word

Till soul and body sever;

For though all things shall pass away,

His Word shall stand forever.

III. The Nature of Love

Love that endures touches the will rather than just one's emotions. The emotions of love go up and down with the circumstances. Soon after your wedding you will have to begin love on the volitional or decision level. Sometimes you must decide or will love even when you do not feel love. Do not depend on the mere emotional or sexual level of love to sustain marriage. In true marriage, you must decide to love even more when feelings to the contrary arise. Lust gets, while love gives. "Love suffers long and is kind. Love envies not, love is not puffed up. I Corinthians 13:4-8 The only excuse the Bible gives for divorce is unfaithfulness (Matthew 19:9) Do not be unfaithful to your rnate! Unfaithfulness is a sin, which usually destroys marriages. It can be forgiven and overcome, but it is very difficult. Keep your eyes on Jesus, and be morally faithful to your mate. Love does not hold marriage together. Marriage holds love together. The best definition of love is commitment not feeling.

LOVE

He drew a circle that shut me out

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout

But love and I had the wit to win,

We drew a circle that brought him in.

IV. First Things First

"But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. " Matthew 6:33 If you will, as a couple, follow these priorities, you will be in a position to receive God's blessings.

I. First, the Lord's Day, then every other day (See Revelation 1:10; Hebrews 10:25-31; Acts 5:42) If you forsake Bible study and worship on the Lord's Day, you cannot expect God to bless your home.

2. First, pay your tithe, then pay your bills. (See Malachi 3:8-10; 2 Corinthians 8:9) Ninety percent with God will go farther than one hundred percent without God. "The tithe is the Lord's. " Malachi 3: 1 0 Leviticus 27:30

3. First, take care of one another, then pay attention to others. "Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God " (See Ephesians 5:21-33)

4. First, the husband is the head of the home, then the wife is the heart of the home. The husband should be the spiritual leader, never a dictator. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands ... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church. " (See Ephesians 5:21-33) The husband is the head of the home, and the wife is the crown atop the head. Mrs. Billy Graham said, "No woman will mind submitting to a husband who loves her as Christ loves the Church.

5. First, make Jesus the Lord and the number one concern in your lives, then all else will fall in place. (See Colossians 1: 1 8; Psalm 37:4; Matthew 6:33) Be sure you are saved. Be certain that you both have repented of sin and asked Jesus Christ into your heart. Then, as a couple, resolve to make Jesus Lord of all your marriage.

6. First, read your Bible daily and pray, then go out to face your daily life. Make the commitment to read at least one chapter of the Bible each day for the rest of your life. Bible reading and daily prayer are doorways for the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. Bible reading and daily prayer are doorways for the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.